A Legitimate Preoccupation with Self

We live in distracted times.

I’m not referring to the fact that most of us work a lot (which we do, and often have to), but rather to the fact that there is an endless stream of amusements awaiting us the moment we put our work down: television, games, sports, theater, books, chats on the phone, etc.

Now, before you moan and say “Not another religious jaw about slowing down and finding time for God!” let me go on record to say that there is nothing wrong with any of these things. These kinds of activities are a wonderful part of any normal life, and they frequently provide us with a healthy and much needed-break from the toils of this fallen world. Nevertheless, we must take care lest these things become all or even most of what we do.

Pascal once said: All humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room by himself. If there is one fundamental task given to all mankind from birth, it is the task of tending to his own self, and yet this is precisely the thing we run from the most. What could be more sensible than giving thought and attention to ourselves: our body and mind, our past and future, our strengths and weaknesses, our goals and aspirations? Yet we often spend our days passing from one distraction to the next, and the ultimate punishment is that we become strangers to our own selves. I have often wondered whether the tendency to depression and self-medication so prevalent in affluent societies (not least our own) is because they are societies that offer too much distraction and in which people cease to know themselves. Their personal and familial lives fall apart for lack of attention, and the greatest tragedy is that they don’t understand why.

"church leaders...Often...plunge their people into one activity after the next..."

This problem I think is very widespread, and not just outside the church. Church leaders—well-meaning though they be—often contribute to it by plunging their people into one activity after the next, guilting those who don’t participate and extolling those who do. Not that there is anything inherently wrong with sermons, Bible studies, or charitable activities. The problem, however, is that even these things—wonderful as they are—can be twisted into yet another way for us to distract ourselves from ourselves. We have to ask ourselves: is my going to this event or my participation in that group the outgrowth of my inner walk with the Lord, or is it just another way for me to keep being a busybody and avoid giving attention to myself and my family?

You may have noticed that I slipped the word “family” in after “self.”

It might appear that the kind of self-attention I am talking about leads to selfishness. Paradoxically, however, all true preoccupation with self leads toward others, for the more we come to understand ourselves, the more we realize that our life is inseparable from the lives of the people around us. Our creaturely life is not our own, but has its origin in the lives of our parents, our ancestors, and the whole human race, going all the way back to God the Father. And the covenant life we enjoy through Jesus Christ likewise binds us to fellow believers in every age and corner of the world, but especially to those near at hand.

So let us cease from our distracted ways of living, and let us realize that we cannot rightly love ourselves without loving our neighbors as ourselves, and that that is a command whose fulfillment should begin above all at home.