At this very moment, most of us are having some kind of problem with another person. Whether at home, or school, or work, or outside of work, someone is making life more difficult for you than it would otherwise be. Well-meaning friends give useless advice about how to solve it all, but they don’t know old so-and-so the way you do. There was a time when you too had the luxury of thinking things would get straightened out, but now you see how pointless it is—they’ll never change.
Now one of the greatest strides you can take in your spiritual growth is to realize that you are yourself the kind of person just described. You can’t get around it by saying things like “I know I have my faults.” It is more serious than that: there is in you some intractable problem that fills others with the same hopelessness you sometimes feel toward them. What’s worse, it is probably something you don’t know anything about. You might say, “Why don’t others tell me?” But of course they probably have. You likely dismissed it, or you saw it as some unjustifiable attack on you.
Now we begin to see what it’s like to be God, though with some important differences since he not only sees all of our faults but loves us in spite of them. He knows more than we do and he loves more than we do. We can’t say, “Well it’s easy for him, he doesn’t have to live with these people.” In actual fact, it’s far worse for him since he is on more intimate terms with a greater number of people than we ever will be. Every bad thought, every thoughtless action, every deliberate act of wickedness is laid bare before his infinite consciousness and meets with his equally infinite patience and love.
"...we weigh others differently than ourselves, and so treat them unjustly."
As Christians, we are called to imitate this patient love. In practical terms, this means the things we cannot fix in others we ought to suffer patiently until they are fixed by God. But this is of course easier said than done, and as usual the problem begins in our minds. We don’t enjoy thinking about our own faults, but we enjoy thinking about the faults of others. Surely, however, we can see the inconsistency in this attitude: we would have others perfect, and not amend our own faults; we would have others corrected, and not correct ourselves; we would have others bound by rules, but ourselves free to do as we please. In short, we weigh others differently than ourselves, and so treat them unjustly.
As a corrective to this tendency, we ought to be mindful of our faults. This not only has the practical advantage of encouraging us to be humble, but it is theoretically sound as well. After all, we are the only ones who we are really obliged to improve, and we are the only ones in a position to take a step in that direction. And if we cannot make ourselves to be what we want, how can we reasonably expect to make others around us what we want? There will of course be times when negative thoughts about others present themselves to us, but we should dismiss them rather than dwell on them. And even when we are obliged to think about these things, we should not do so in light of how bad they make us feel, but in light of the good we desire for that other person.
Be patient therefore in bearing with the weaknesses and defects of others, whatever they may be, for you too have many failings which have to be borne by others. Be in prayer, and God’s grace will never depart from you, nor will any situation catch you sleeping.
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